pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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