: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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