I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
