Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  oh sweet, sweet irony

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa (860): oh sweet, sweet irony http://tfl.nu/6x56
  Replies (24) Good night (3408) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was. http://tfl.nu/tore
  Replies (25) Good night (963) Bad night (6140)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow http://tfl.nu/sj2l
  Replies (13) Good night (5499) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow. http://tfl.nu/8b4m
  Replies (13) Good night (8917) Bad night (1420)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night? http://tfl.nu/ont9
  Replies (14) Good night (1109) Bad night (4296)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine http://tfl.nu/asqo
  Replies (37) Good night (2323) Bad night (4297)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+27): i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please http://tfl.nu/h9fq
  Replies (3) Good night (916) Bad night (1362)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. http://tfl.nu/wazh
  Replies (5) Good night (1347) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start. http://tfl.nu/94bc
  Replies (6) Good night (1307) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with. http://tfl.nu/a0xq
  Replies (15) Good night (1284) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again. http://tfl.nu/pqwv
  Replies (3) Good night (1524) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work. (1-814): Either he has bad timing or he wants to join. http://tfl.nu/sgyz
  Replies (5) Good night (2413) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law! http://tfl.nu/y27z
  Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him. http://tfl.nu/lrjc
  Replies (1) Good night (1184) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP http://tfl.nu/z348
  Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (112)

Randomize