Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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