I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.