I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
