Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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