new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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