i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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