she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
