I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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