Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
