I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I party with great urgency now.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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