We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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