Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
