My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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