Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
