Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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