I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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