STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
