He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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