Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
