Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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