I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We left the knife in your bed.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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