Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
