its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
