Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
