Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
