i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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