dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize