I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
