Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
the room spins SO much faster in panama
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
