once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
