when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
