Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
