bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
