I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
