Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
