so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
