I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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