He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize