McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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