Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
