sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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