We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
