is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's blow job season.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
this hospital has no fireball
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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