i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
