I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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