Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
