yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
