so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize