i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
