high people should be assigned attendants
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You made out with two different species that night
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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