i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
