and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
