what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
