I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
