Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
