I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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