oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
