well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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