dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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