do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
