Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
