sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
