i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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