I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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