i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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