her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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