What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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